The Prodigal

Here I am with my youngest son at my youngest daughter's (his sister) wedding.

When my first wife left me after 16 years of marriage, I spent the next five years as a Single Dad raising our two children. I never even considered not being in my children's lives. I would have died inside without them those first few years. I kidded myself that they needed me, however in retrospect I would guess we needed each other equally.

I gladly did many things to rearrange my life to take care of my kids and my company and boss were very sympathetic, giving me extra indulgences not normally given a District Manager. Then on what should have been the happiest day of my life to date (when I met the woman God gave me for the rest of my life) my son told me he wanted to live with his mother. I was devastated! After much prayer, I finally relented because I wanted him to be happy.

I spent much of the next year trying to get him to visit me and my new wife (his sister stayed and moved with me). I even went back to court because his mother refused to "make" him come to see me on my visitation weeks, even though she gladly took my child support checks. I finally stood up in court before the judge (after my son asked me, crying, not to force him to do something he didn't want to do) and told him that I wanted to visit with my son but I did not want to force him to see me if he didn't want to. Over the last 5 years, I have seen him maybe ten times, even though we live just 16 miles apart.

I say all this because I experienced many turbulent moments with my daughter over the next few years. At one point she yelled to me that she wished I would just drive off a cliff and die. Now, as she carries my first grandchild, I speak to her nearly every day. Many times several times a day.

My son turns 18 in just four months and says he will join the Marines at that time. I learned this two weeks ago when I met his mom at the oral surgeon's office to wait while my son had all his wisdom teeth.

I worry as a parent that he might have to fight in Iraq if he does join, but I also know he has to find himself and become what he is meant to be. I have hope that the years he was with me have been a stablilzing force on him and that he will remember the love I have had for him from the day he was born. His sister came home and made amends with me so there is that hope. Until then, Ipray that God keeps him safe. I love you son,